Architects, in general, always have relationship problems. People, simply, don’t understand that we have two true loves in our life, her/him and architecture.
Every architecture student that experienced going out with a person from a different profession will tell you that is almost impossible. And this is a perfect diagram to explain this…
… if you just replace social life with your “significant other” (although it applies this way too), you will see that is impossible to satisfy all three. Yes, it’s easy to say - you can get rid of “enough” sleep, but think - how are you going to be able to get good grades = good projects, if you don’t get that minimal 3h sleep and sutisfy your other love (architecture)??
Summarizing, this would sound like this: Girls want attention and guys want someone to have sex whenever they feel like it (although is not as wicked as it sounds, because we /guys/ can care for that person as much as women can).
With this brought to mind, I think is much more easier for women architects to have an functioning relationship, because guys don’t need that much attention and we can function without that.
But on the other hand, there is that risk that your guy, after some time not seeing you, will find some cool and fun girl that can replace you instantly, when you are not there controlling him.
Us, guys have it maybe harder. There is always your girl whining about the fact that you have too little time for seeing her, that she feels like she’s being used, that she needs a boyfriend that will give her the attention she needs and a million of those things (in this sentence belong the whiner-guys also), but it’s not like that…It’s just that - YOU HAVE TO MUCH WORK. Of course, there is the risk of the girl replacing you as well, but women are more “sticky” if they are in love, so guys have more space for maneuver.
The problem is that s/he is taking economics and s/he can’t understand that, what you work and study in a year, s/he will study in his/her whole university experience.
So, while your partner is partying, going out, having some social life, you are pissing blood in studio and your mind is blowing when you can’t find some inspiration, or have some project to finish. And the thought of your “other” living the life that you can’t have at the moment is just frustrating.
Your loved one, calls you just before you prepare to go in studio, pulling another, out of thousands all-nighters and s/he says:
- Baby, I am preparing to go to this awesome party. I’ve been calling you all day. Where were you?
You just close your eyes, grab your phone so hard, is on the border of braking it and you say:
- Sorry baby. I was sleeping, had a long day and NIGHT in studio. I have to go to studio again and finish my model now. I can’t go to the party.
At that moment you hear him/her take a deep breath, while she is thinking that you go to studio, playing with some cardboards, xacto knifes and glue, like a 3-year old and says to you, with a great disappointment in his/hers voice:
- OK, I hope I’ll see you this week. Have a nice time in studio.
And this is all said while you can’t remember how long it has been since you’ve went to a party and while s/he doesn’t understand what is that you actually do in that studio of yours and s/he thinks that you are always ditching him/her and actually don’t care about him/her.
So, after some time, you see that you can’t have a functioning relationship with anyone, because you are always disappointing them always and that is where you say stop and maybe all because architecture school, you will miss on the “right one”.
This is the moment when you move to “one night stands”, or find yourself a sex-buddy. And for us architects, is not that hard to have any of these two “retard relationships”. We are cool, we know how to party and we know how to have fun with other people, as long as we can afford the time.
We are interesting at all-times and everybody wants to have a friend - architect, as long as we don’t start speaking for a half an hour on columns and how those stairs “open the space”.
All of us thought of going out from someone from studio. I don’t know how good of idea is this, but as I could see, these relationships can get very messy, so I am not competent to speak on these.
But, having a sex-buddy with someone from studio (preferably year, or two older) is maybe the smartest thing you can do, as long as there are no feeling involved and as long as you don’t like to have a serious relationship with someone. This way, you two are making each other a favor and that’s it.
At this point, I can see that I got a little carried away, so lets leave something for part two and for a post with some of your own architecture love story shared > SUBMIT